hellO! i just got back from a night out w/ some buddies: (in no particular order) batO, edmond, paul, and catherine. we watched 'just married' and it was pretty funny! sappy, but funny. not realistic, but watchable. of course, that is just my biased opinion. everyone else <3ed it! afterwards, we went to in n out and i had fries and a chocolate shake! yUm! and then.... hmm, what else did i do? i went to get gas and i came home. and a funny thing happened at chevron. my stupid checkcard wouldn't go through at the pump, so i had to go inside to get it done, and i met the guy who was working, and we chatted for a bit. he was nice and all, but TOO old! but, he surprised me. he wasn't what i thought? he was like, dancing to snoop dogg before i came in. i had to clear my throat so he would notice me. then, we talked a little.. just your everyday general conversation. then, you know how guys ask 'how your night was w/ your boyfriend' to see if you have a boyfriend type question? well, he threw me one of those, and of course i replied i don't have one. okay, and lets get one thing straight. this guy was not terribly cute, but you know my whole idea of.. "being open" or whatnot. and plus, I wasn't merely having conversation w/ him just b/c I was interested (which i wasn't) or b/c i wanted him to be interested (romantically speaking i guess). i just had open conversation w/ him b/c i like meeting people, and i like getting different perspectives, and i truly learn something different from the people that i interact with. and i don't think that's supposed to be strange, or that interaction always has to do something w/ a romantic interest. do you get what i'm saying? that's the one thing that kinda ticks me off when im talking to ppl,(strangers, not friends.) esp. guys. they think that i'm talking to them b/c im interested or b/c they think that i want them to be interested in me, but its SO NOT! my mentality is that i can learn something from them, and they can learn something from me as well. but anyways, this guy was like really quite normal, and we were talking pretty well, but he also kept putting in comments about "seeing someone exclusively" ect. ect. all this interest in romance, and junk. but he also talked about violence on the streets, school, and how people sterotype one another. and it was really interesting to talk to him about that kinda stuff. i really was interested in talking about that. but then when he started putting in that romance interest element in.. i was like uhhh... and the reasons i was so.. uhhhh... about it was b/c first of all, he was 27 years old! so you know how old that is in relation to ME?? second, i didn't find him attractive. (i gotta be a LITTLE attracted if anything..) third, he's not in school, and doesn't really want to be in school. fourth, my parents.. would be quite upset about the age difference, and racial difference. fifth, even if there were ever to be something.. i'm going to santa cruz prolly in one year from now! him? he's goin no where. sixth, (this really kinda bothered me.) he said that he likes feminine girls. in his own words. "girls that are fragile and feminine, i hate seeing girls act so manly!" i was like.. UMMM, what? and he said. "you know, girls like you, all feminine." my response was... "what the?!" (cause i don't think i look feminine. i don't really describe people in terms of that...) so we discussed more in detail about what "feminine" was, and what "manly" was. he told me he didn't like girls who burp for example. and i asked him, so it's okay for a guy to burp? and he didn't really have much of a response to that. he already had this built in mentality of what a girl and guy should act like. and that really bothered me. cause to me, if it's wrong for a girl to burp, then it should be damn well wrong for a guy to burp as well! if ANYONE burps in pubilc, i think it's a little gross. but not a big deal. i donno. ANYWAYS, he was nice to talk to, but i wouldn't date him for all of the above reasons. of course i didn't TELL him that, i just told him that i wasn't interested in LOOKING for anyone b/c i'm too young, and all the boys my age are too young and immature to date, and i guess i just gotta wait for them to grow up. well, that's what i told him, which is mostly true. i'm really not looking for anyone or any love. right now, im just looking to learn. learn about myself and others. mainly myself, b/c i want to know exactly who i am and what kind of person i am before i meet anyone "special". i wouldn't want to cheat that "special" person out, by giving only parts of me. does that make sense? lol, i donnno if you understand me. i just want to give all of what i am, to whoever that "special" person will be (if that person will ever even exist.. who knows?) but to give all of myself, i have to know what myself is. and i haven't really figured it all out yet. but it's a fun learning process. but it's not only for that reason i want to know who i am, but b/c it benefits ME greatly also! and i have a great time learning, the good and the ugly. anyways, i'm a little tired, and i tried to sum this all up in one big heap, but when i get my thoughts straightened out, i'll explain it all to you in less of a slop. sorry! i was just trying to tell you what happened tonight. i'll explain my ideas/thoughts about the whole thing another night! good night. sweet dreams. :)
-karen
"have sweet dreams.. and follow them." <3
Moving - Sunday, Mar. 02, 2008
Rambles and Kansas! - Thursday, Feb. 07, 2008
In Manhattan, Kansas! - Sunday, Jan. 20, 2008
Minnesota! - Saturday, Jan. 12, 2008
First Interview!!! - Wednesday, Nov. 28, 2007
