hellO lOve!! i just got home from work, and yes. yesterday was TJ day. it was fun being with everyone and talking to them.. but it was not fun b/c me and jenna were sO SOBER!! haha, but it's okay, i still had a good time. :) i don't know why i wasn't??? i was a little bit buzzed on the way home... but i don't get why i wasn't buzzed till way after i dranK?! i had a corona and a half (yUck!), a mango margarita (yUm!), and a tequila shot. (dOUble YUCK!!!) ugh. if you can believe it, it's WORSE than bicardi. and i thought bicardi was the most yuckiest of them all. at least bicardi does something to me!! tequila.. :P BLEH! i'm not an alcohol person i guess. i think too much about the taste and how bad it's going to be going down my system, and how bad i'll feel afterwards. yeah when i got home last night, i had a terrible tummy ache. :( i couldn't go to sleep until 3. i kept having weird paranoid dillusions that i had been poisoned.
going to work today was terrible. 1. b/c i was so freaking tired. 2. i was so disgusted to see all those spoiled little brats coming into our store and getting anything their little hearts desired when just the night before i saw cold, hungry and innocent children sitting in the frightening streets. going to tiajuana made me realize how lucky all americans are. it was really sad to see all those little kids down there that have virtually no chance to be anything. it's not fair you know? god, it's not fair. being poor does not mean that you don't own a home and you live in a trailer. no, that's not being poor. being poor does not mean that you live in the streets of america, cause you know what? you have a CHANCE in america. you can at least get a job in america. america has welfare. being an american means YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY BE POOR. no. being poor means you live in the streets of anywhere else except america. b/c in those streets, you have no chance to do much of anything. you don't even get one chance. yeah, i'm grateful for the home i live in and i realize how lucky i am that i have a CHOICE of food and drink.. but what does being grateful do? people see this shit and all they are, are grateful that life gave them something better. but being grateful doesn't do jack shit. feeling sorry for those people doesn't so much of anything. being sad and crying for the hungry doesn't change the ugliness of the world; this world that humans have created. and getting angry won't change the lifestyles of the people who drive in their mercedes benz. i want so badly to DO something for these people. i don't want to SIT AND FEEL SORRY. b/c you know what? that's not going to do anything! and i dont want to get angry, b/c what's that going to do? only fuel my emotions... i can't quite comprehend why the world has become this way...
on a happier note.. before we went to TJ's, we went to jon's house and i saw patrick!! he's so big now. he's twice as big as i saw him last. but he's still a cutie.
jon and patrick look so cute here huh? i like this picture a lot. when we were in TJ, the boys bought these....
haha, can you believe that?? ten bucks each man! and the cigars were like 8 each or something... man.. that's CRAZY. and i was really happy to see my friend ben, even though he's going through some tough times, i hope everything gets better for him, cause he deserves to be happy.
haha.. edmonds finger wanted to be in the picture toO!! i love those guys. they are good boys, and good girls! besides for seeing the sad kids.... it was pretty fun. :/ *sigh*.. sometimes i miss being a kid and living in my ignorance... cause everyone knows.. ignorance is bliss.
dave matthews band ~ mother father
"mother father please explain to me, why a world so full of mystery, a place so bitter and still so sweet. so beautiful and yet so full of sad sad..
mother father please explain to me, why forests march to deserts be. while snow-capped mountains melt away, what do we tell our babies, what do we say?
mother father please explain to me, how a man who rocks his child to sleep.. pulls the trigger on his brothers heart? it digs a hole right to the middle of this storm of hatred.
mother father please explain to me, how it could be that this world has come to be, a precious balance in between such cruelty and such kindness.
mother father please explain to me, how this world has come to be, unequaled in her blessings. oh i see unbridled hatred so extreme.
mother father please explain to me, how this world has come to be, so twisted between time and dreams. oh mother father please explain to me.
what's all this talk about? all this talk about it.. (spinning down down down.) all this talk about, endless words without.. (nothings done.)
mother father do you know, why one mans belly overflows, while another sleeps in hungers bed? oh they would trade their world for a piece of bread.
please explain to me how has this rare world has come to be, a place so full of color yet overflowing always in black and white. drowning in the waters of our.. (greed..)
mother father please explain to me, how this world has come to be, while still blessed in all the things we see, such a sad sad home for you and me.
come out. we're taking the water, but you know that we've got the freedom. we got the freedom. there's no god above and no hell below. it's here with us, it's up to us to keep it afloat. mother father please explain to me..." ~karen
Moving - Sunday, Mar. 02, 2008
Rambles and Kansas! - Thursday, Feb. 07, 2008
In Manhattan, Kansas! - Sunday, Jan. 20, 2008
Minnesota! - Saturday, Jan. 12, 2008
First Interview!!! - Wednesday, Nov. 28, 2007
