i'm still stunned from a beeeeeautiful sight. i went to soka university today with yasmine and sun joo to study calculus... WOW. purely amazing! everything is SO beautiful. the water view out in the entrance... WOW!! i was completely blown away from the beauty of it all. it's a little eerie though... b/c not many students go to the school... it seems SO empty.. which also kind of upsets me because they have ALL these lights on ALL the time, and they have built ALL those buildings and have such a spectacular amount of space for such a SMALL amount of students. i feel like it's a waste? the campus is not a "natural" sort of beauty like UCSC. but the architect work done so brilliantly and i must say, a very nice effort to blend the campus with the background has proven to be a definite eye opener. anyways, it's gorgeous in a modern way, whereas UCSC is beautiful is an old fashioned way. other things i found amazing at the school: FREE telephone calls near the library bathrooms! automatic lights on top of the bookshelves. light stands next to every couch. HUGE tables for massive amounts of studying. FREE printing at the computers.. and can you believe this..?? this is ALL avaliable to the general public! and we didn't have to pay for parking either! i am SO going there to study all the time man. i was surprised that the tampons and pads in the bathroom weren't free. it was nice you know? nice in the sense that they were so generous. things should be that way EVERYWHERE. of course, the reason they CAN be generous is b/c they are privately owned and have money to spend. but still, think about the world if people did things for each other just to help each other out. what a wonderful, nonexsistant world huh tobey?
anyhow... yesterday negar's sister netta interviewed me for one of her classes at UCSD, and it was about sex. she tape recorded the whole thing, and i felt uncomfortable more than half the time i was being interviewed. she said only her professor would hear parts of the tape and not the whole class, so no worries. but it was just a strange interview? first of all, i don't think i've ever been interviewed, and second of all, if i had been, i don't think the subject matter was even remotely close. it was a fun interview though? and it kind of opened up my eyes to some things. she asked me a LOT of questions about WHY things are the way they are now... and she outrightly said that i close myself off from the opposite sex. i didn't think i really do that? but now that i think about it, i DO! at least when it comes down to relationships. i mean, i kind of knew that i did that.. but not to the extent that she proposed to me. when she said that.. i immediately thought of this guy i had met at a previous party probably months ago. we were just having a conversation, and he was saying that all korean girls are evil. his conviction came from the fact that he had dated several koreans and all had broke his heart, used him for money, ect. ect... of course, I, being korean and all, was defensive! and we had ourselves a little debate. so he then went on to ask me.. what was so different about me that i was not evil? so.. i tried to explain to him the best i could... i told him that i have learned from many of my past mistakes and i have become a very honest person while i am in a relationship. i basically told him who i am as a person and what kind of girl i am when i am in a relationship. i was not trying to flirt with this guy, i was just merely trying to disprove his obviously CRAZY theory. then he knocked all of my convictions down with.. "well then, if you're so great then why is it that YOU have been single for 3 years?" at that moment, my heart sort of dropped to the floor next to the ciggarette butts and empty beer cans. and for that single moment, i realized that i did not know what to say to that. so i did what i do best.. attack the opposite side back with a argument that wasn't even a real statement. "i haven't met any guys that i like!". but really. WHY is that? is it MY fault? or does the fault lie within a decieving face of another? i don't know tobey? i felt embarassed. almost, ashamed. i didn't know how to feel or react that someone had shoved the truth right in my face and was asking for a explanation. i donno tobey.. but i'll finish this discussion another time.. i need my rest. i'm exhausted from today's ochem test, bio lecture, bio lab, studying like crazy.. AHHH. i've been awake since 6 am. horrible! good night tobes... answers please arise from the mist of confusion...
<3 karen
p.s. february, won't you be my valentine?
Moving - Sunday, Mar. 02, 2008
Rambles and Kansas! - Thursday, Feb. 07, 2008
In Manhattan, Kansas! - Sunday, Jan. 20, 2008
Minnesota! - Saturday, Jan. 12, 2008
First Interview!!! - Wednesday, Nov. 28, 2007
