how are you? i'm okay. well, i talked to another friend last night. and i suppose you could say that things are a bit better between us. but i can't say that for certain. it seems like it, but who knows? well, im gonna go see my dermo doctor in two hours. but before that, got a bunch of errands to run. i'm excited because on thursday, my sister and i are going to go shopping! yesterday at work was fun toO! we had a shipment, thats why. and it wasn't a huge one, so i could take my time and arrange things the way i wanted to. and we're doing a lot better than last week! *sheesh* last week was terrible.
yanno.. i was thinking. maybe i was being the way i was because i wanted to see if i could do it. i wanted to see if i could go on and have a normal life without this person because.. they'll be leaving soon anyway.. and i don't wanna be thrown out just because i have to be. i wanted to leave on my own and be content with my decision. and i was ok with it. but i guess i have learned some more things last night. that my best friend doesn't have to be there for me 24/7, but consistently. that there are even different kinds of best friends, because, everyone is different. i can see that in each of my best friends.. had and gone. here and there. that they were all so unique in their own ways. and this one.. isn't one that ever going to be the best friend that i've always wanted. maybe i'll never find that friend.. maybe that friend is myself, who better do i get along with than myself? i've learned to depend on myself without anyone. (with the exception of family) and that's OK. actually, that's better than i've ever hoped for. i realize i can have friends, boyfriends and best friends.. but not have to rely on them for fun, loyalty, time, effort, etc. maybe they can prove it to me, (some have) but still.. even when it's proven, theres still the fact that they just aren't gonna be there for you. but that's OK. well, i mean of course intially, i'll be pissed and dissapointed.. but i'll come to accept it because i always have. and because i have myself, and i'm happy with myself. and that's more important than anything.
<3 Karen
Moving - Sunday, Mar. 02, 2008
Rambles and Kansas! - Thursday, Feb. 07, 2008
In Manhattan, Kansas! - Sunday, Jan. 20, 2008
Minnesota! - Saturday, Jan. 12, 2008
First Interview!!! - Wednesday, Nov. 28, 2007
