well hello there..! today was, school for me of course! and yay.. tomorrow i work :/ oh the joy. oh yeah, this banner above my entry thingie reminds me! i want to make a sock monkey. my old co worker georgette is like crazy creative. and i remember when she made her sock monkey! it was SOOOOO cute. hmm.. im thinking about taking a sewing class so that i can make one out of my own socks..! not like one of those kits.. yanno what i mean? AHhhh tobey! im still really freaked out about chemestry! i really hope i pass. i mean, all the people that i have talked to about it.. are like.. oh yeah it's really hard. and then i ask them what they got. and the reply is 'A' . but wait, before you digest that. i gotta feed you the fact that these people are dangerously intelligent, unlike me. so if THEY SAY it's hard.. then oh lord, it's going to be hell for me! and they got 'A's!! i'll prolly get a C at best. i was never any good at chemestry. *sigh* i'm really sad. people always tell me to go for your dreams.. and i've always believed that quote "the cream of the crop always rises to the top". BUT, the thing with me is that.. with the millions of people populating this earth. what makes me think that i'm part of that cream? i'm sure there are gonna be tons of people who are way smarter, and way more studious than me! those people are gonna be the vets of tomm.. not me. right? i donno. i guess that's why i dont really want to try. i keep thinking about that fact. it really scares me. b/c i dont want to be taking loans from banks to run for a dream that will just be snatched away from me. i'm so sad tobey! it's really unfair too. i mean, my family isn't rich. in fact i'd say we're a little lower than average. i mean, i'm not ashamed. i'd never be ashamed of my family (not anymore anyway!).. and it's just too much of a risk for me to take.. and sushi wants to be a doctor too! so i guess there's a little problem there huh..? maybe i should be talking to my counsler about this kind of thing. b/c i've never really mentioned the $$ part to my counsler. *sigh* i mean, being a teacher wouldn't be so bad yanno? but, i know i HAVE to do SOMETHING with animals.. even if i am a teacher. i'd so something with dogs on the side yanno? for fun. for myself. god tobey, i wanna be a vet so bad. but it seems that everything around me is limiting me away from that goal. like, telling me.. it's just not gonna happen. the money, the studying, the risk. is it all worth it? cause i'm always expecting the worst in every situation, so i'm never SHOCKED or APALLED by anything. i want to be prepared for the worst.. and i really want to hope for the best, but i just can't with this. so why try at all? gosh. maybe i should just drop chemestry huh? i mean, i could take a much easier class if i wanted to be a teacher instead. hmm. but still, there's that little part of me that wants it more than anything. ok right now. im going to go burn a cd for jane!! she wants the nelly cd. so i will stop fretting, and let my brain dissolve from this horrid screaming dilemma. good night tobey. wish me luck. i'll need it!!
<3 Karen*
Moving - Sunday, Mar. 02, 2008
Rambles and Kansas! - Thursday, Feb. 07, 2008
In Manhattan, Kansas! - Sunday, Jan. 20, 2008
Minnesota! - Saturday, Jan. 12, 2008
First Interview!!! - Wednesday, Nov. 28, 2007
