hey there. i haven't written in a while. why do i feel frustrated with my life? i mean, hardly anything seems to be going right. am i doing something wrong? i dont even know. i'm trying so hard to make it right. but it seems like, there are always obstacles that are in my way. it's blocking my view of happiness. i'm not even sure what i'm unhappy about. the only people that truly give me any sort of happiness.. THE GERLS!! and they hafta go back to school soon.. gosh im gonna miss them so much! seriously.. i feel like they are they only people i ever really connected with. why is that? i don't understand what's with me. i'm like a hidden anti social inside of a trying to be social person. ok, i realize that may be a bit confusing. i guess all im trying to say is that even though i talk to all these ppl's (some even on a daily basis) i just don't feel any connection with them. i mean, i DO. but i dont REALLY. argh, i dont even know how to explain myself. i guess what im really trying to say is. no one knows me. the only friend, i seem to ever have had.. one that i could hang out with and talk to.. was really only an illusion. not that he cares anyway. cause he sure doesn't act much like it sometimes. see, i don't get him. with this. i mean, why does he even talk to people whom he appears not to like? or says he doesnt understand? i dont get it? why am i second? third? last? and why do i always put him first? god. im so tired of doing that. and sometimes i dont even realize it b/c i've been doing it forever. i suppose in the end. it's still all my fault. everything. jesus christ.. why is everything in my life going so wrong? i mean, i can't STAND work anymore.. or certain ppl there.. and i just cant understand. im really upset and i have to write an 8 page paper tomm..!! shit, god dammit, mother freaking, @%#$*^@!!!!!!!! good night.
no love AGAIN,
Karen
Moving - Sunday, Mar. 02, 2008
Rambles and Kansas! - Thursday, Feb. 07, 2008
In Manhattan, Kansas! - Sunday, Jan. 20, 2008
Minnesota! - Saturday, Jan. 12, 2008
First Interview!!! - Wednesday, Nov. 28, 2007
