hey yOu! you know, last time i wrote. i was upset. X/ anyways, i've thought long and hard about it. and i realized a lot of things. first of all. i know how hard i've been. i'm a jerk sometimes. (aren't we all?!) and now that the shock is over, i learned some things that i thought i would never learn. i was pretty high off the feeling when it first occured to me. it has taken me THIS LONG to let go of EVERYTHING. i just let it all fall away, and let it burn away at my feet until there was nothing left but ashes and dust. it's all dead and over now. and nothing. NOTHING, makes me happier than knowing that. how long has it been? 3 years? it took me that long. but HEY, what does the time matter, i did it in the end anyway. and if YOU'RE reading this. i'm sorry. i don't know why it took me so long. i know that i can be scary to you sometimes. emotionally i mean. and i know i've been such a miserable person to be around sometimes. and i dont know why, but you stuck around. you stayed my buddy through all my screaming, crying, etc. etc. i know.. i'm a demanding friend. but i guess it's only b/c i KNOW you. comfortable i mean. i was afraid to let that go. but, i just wanted to let you know. it's OKAY. you don't hafta be afraid to tell me things b/c you're afraid i'll get upset. cause i won't. and not b/c i think your a jerk. (even though you can be SOMETIMES. just like i do!!) but b/c i finally see. that it's OKAY. and honestly, now more than ever. i want you to be HAPPY. i mean it too. i understand why you kept a lot of things from me. b/c i'm freaking crazy!! lol. i see that now. geez was i retarded. and i'm so terribly sorry that i realize all this NOW. (hey, but better late than never right?!)i guess all this time, it's just been ME that's been scared. but i'm not anymore. but i just wanted to let you know. you don't have to be afraid anymore, and that i'll be here for you as buddies. :) isn't is strange that these words are coming out of my mouth? er, hands? i surprise myself sometimes. but i'm glad that i have the strength to accept this, instead of covering it up like i have been doing forever. and you know. thanks for sticking around.
-karen
Moving - Sunday, Mar. 02, 2008
Rambles and Kansas! - Thursday, Feb. 07, 2008
In Manhattan, Kansas! - Sunday, Jan. 20, 2008
Minnesota! - Saturday, Jan. 12, 2008
First Interview!!! - Wednesday, Nov. 28, 2007
