times like this, i don't know why i exist. i don't understand my father. i know he's messed up in the head from his family situations.. but why the hell did he have to do this? i'm so mad. i feel absolutely helpless. i despise him... almost truly hate him for leaving our family is the state it is in. i mean, if he can't take care of his family.. why the hell did he have any? in all honesty, if i can't have a chance to go to school and have a promising future, i'd rather that i was never born. and it's not like i'm the only one, what about suh and sarah? i dont even really care if he doesn't show us love, or give us love or even really love us at all. i'm so over that now. but the least he should do, is freaking take care of us-financially at least. he did just throw us into the world.. this really pisses me off. parents who have kids, that don't even give them a chance for a real life. i mean, i know i don't have it THAT bad. of course there are worse parents in way worse situations. but c'mon, how am i supposed to go to schooL? i guess i'm just going to have to search and search and search until i find what i can.. and get loans and grants.. but i dont even know what how much money a wildlife biologist makes..! it doesn't sound like it's going to be a ton. i just don't understand. i'm very angry but in a quiet sort of way right now. i hate money. money makes people into ugly beings. selfish greedy things. i hate irresponsible people, selfish nasty greedy people. i hate boys with raging hormones, i hate people with closed minds, i hate people who only care for themselves, i hate selfish rich people, ... ha, my friends think that they have problems? what problems? their problems aren't shit. they don't have a problem going to college and having a normal life. they don't have a problem w/ seeing doctors. not a problem at all.. the only problems they have, only lie within their stupid idiodic minds. they have chances to be something.. anything they want to be.. but they can't even see that! puhhleezz. so WHAT if their stupid boyfriend broke up with them. boohoo. at least they still have themselves, and their family has money to send them to wherever the hell they want. IT'S NOT FAIR. FUCK. i hate this society, and right now, i really hate my life.
-me.
Moving - Sunday, Mar. 02, 2008
Rambles and Kansas! - Thursday, Feb. 07, 2008
In Manhattan, Kansas! - Sunday, Jan. 20, 2008
Minnesota! - Saturday, Jan. 12, 2008
First Interview!!! - Wednesday, Nov. 28, 2007
