how are you?! i'm very good thanks. :) i just got home from a day of studying. me and the chem girls went to laguna beach to study at the diedrichs there... needless to say, i didn't get quite as much as i hoped done--the beach today was absolutely gorgeous. it was perfect beach weather! after that i had to take my sister and her friends to church.. and i met up with liz at UCI to study there. it was fun going to UCI! it's a nice campus--not as nice as Santa Cruz... but it's okay.
UCI is everything that is familiar to me. the people, the campus... it's everything that orange county is to me... and in that sense, i find the campus very comforting. secure. safe. just like--home. Santa Cruz is so different.. but so beautiful! i have my mind made up... i'm going to UCSC. i don't even care so much if i don't make any friends there--i just want to be there, in that environment. so stunning. so perfectly beautiful. but i know that in my utter loneliness... i will feel that Santa Cruz is not for me.. i will feel that it's a strange cold unknown place.. i know if i don't fit in, i'll feel like the alien, the freak, the outcast--whatever you want to call it. and who knows if i will fit in? it's so easy to fit in a place like UCI (espcially if you happen to be ASIAN.) i mean, look around the damn campus.. nearly everyone is asian! it's so much easier at times to fit in with your own "kind". i suppose its only b/c you have cultural things in common with those people.. i mean, asians all know that we were all beaten to silence when we were kids. and that's not to say that any other race hasn't gotten that, cause i'm sure they have--but with asian people, you KNOW that it's happened to mostly every one of them. there are other things too, but i won't go on.. i don't want to cause havok b/t cultures... but you get my drift.
i will continue to confuse you further by adding the fact that I DONT LIKE THAT. i don't like how asians are the majority at UCI--it kind of made me feel awkward. just b/c it's easier for people of the same culture to blend together, doesn't make it right. and in the end, i would have to agree that it does cause some involuntary discrimination. it causes seperation of people. the dispersion of humanity. i just wish that we could be colorblind to each other. *sigh* oh but what a dream....
it's a nice thought atleast...
anyways, i had a really good time studying w/ liz. she has the same birthday as sushi! crazy eH? i donno what it was.. but some people just clique. and you know that at times... that's hard for me to find. friends that i have a really good time with. it's so strange that i get along so well with her b/c we don't have much in common. almost nothing come to think of it.. strange isn't it?
well, i gotta go to sleep.. chem test tuesday! and i'm gonna meet up with liz tomorrow. and i get to see the bio ppl tomorrow! tomorrow is going to be a fun day... i can tell. :)
<3 karen
Moving - Sunday, Mar. 02, 2008
Rambles and Kansas! - Thursday, Feb. 07, 2008
In Manhattan, Kansas! - Sunday, Jan. 20, 2008
Minnesota! - Saturday, Jan. 12, 2008
First Interview!!! - Wednesday, Nov. 28, 2007
