how are you today? i'm pretty well TODAY. yesterday i was not a happy camper.. i'll tell you about that laters... but! today, i went to school... then me and bench went to south coast to shop! i bought jeans and a shirt... ben bought 3 black shirts. (he's crazy) then we went to active to shop some more!! and i bought 3 more shirts. (but mine were different COLORS, not all black like bens!!!) hehe. we just got something to eat and headed back home..! i met up with jed, frank, chris... ect. ect. at tappy and we just hung around loitering for a while... later me and jed met up with ben again! and we ate del taco. BLAH. today was an eating day! i had this HUGE bowl of spaghetti before i went to bens.. then we had.. *GASP* mcdonalds at the mall. (I KNOWW>> IM SO BAD!), then we ate sushi, then del taco later at night! now im home.. resting my entire body from food coma...
about YESTERDAY. GOD. it was AWFUL. so! my dear mother tells me that i have to attend this "posture" class with my sister for 10 weeks.. once a week. one hour. i didn't really want to at first, b/c i thought it was a gigantic waste of money to pay people to "teach" you how to fix your posture. i STILL think it's a gigantic waste of money for a gay class like that. ANYWAYS... so me and suh are FORCED to go and try it.. and GUESS WHAT THE FUCK IT IS. it's "john robert pauls modeling studio" ... when we realize what it freaking is, we start CRACKING UP SO HARD. i mean, WTF is this?! i am about to walk away when my dad comes up and tells me that my other sister sarah, is doing this also!!! i'm thinking in my head... "WHY THE FUCK IS MY STUPPID DAD WASTING HIS MONEY ON THIS CRAP?!" then i find out, that my parents.. whom currently, one is JOBLESS at the moment, paid $3,500 for sarah, suh and me to take classes there!! STUUUUPID. i mean, WTF are my FUCKING parents thinking? PLEASE, tell me tobey, cause i really dont fucking understand them. WHY the hell is my stupid dad doing this when he doesnt even have a fucking job? DOES HE REALLY FUCKING THINK.. that my little sister sarah is going to be a freaking model????? i mean, don't get me wrong. i think she's pretty, and i love her of course, but... TRUST ME, my sister does not have a sparkling personality in front of a camera. and i honestly don't think she is model "material" or whatever you wanna call it. the majority of the people that were there... WERE FUCKING UGLY OK! these people are so retarded. i was SO pissed off. and DISGUSTED that people actually bring their kids here and get SCAMMED by this so called "modeling studio". i just wanted to scream at everyone... "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU IDIOTS THINKING!! YOU'RE FREAKING WASTING YOUR MONEY YOU NUMCHUCKS!!!" i was OBviously irritated to my BONES, and the lady at the counter was saying.. "sweetie, what is it that you want?" and i told her. "i want to go home and do my freaking hmwk and stop wasting my time!!" i suppose she was appalled by my attitude, but whatever. she's just a CRIMINAL in my mind.. taking money from people... making people false claims that their little kids are going to become famous models around the world.. BULLSHIT! FUCK THAT! anyways.. after that, my freaking dad makes us go to the class. he said.. "just try it once and see how it is." at that point, i was SO ANNOYED by him, i just wanted to get the fuck away from him. so we freaking go to class. it was SO STUPID TOBEY. it was almost UN FUCKING BELIEVEABLE. our teacher goes.. "the first thing you should do, is pick out your 'look' and choose what sort of 'career' you'd like to be in.." BLAH BLAH BLHA BLAH BLAH! BS BS BS BS BS BS. after that hell is over, me and sushi are SO OUTTA there. we left during break.. and i'm sure as HELL not returning there. it was SUCH A WASTE OF TIME. and a waste of money, but you know what..? if my parents want to be fucking dumbasses.. what can i do.. *GRR*... they are so stupid. this is NOT what i want to do! even if i COULD be a model, i dont WANT to be one! i want to be a wildlife biologist! i mean, WHAT DO THEY THINK THE PURPOSE OF THIS WHOLE THING IS? i just dont understand it at all. does my fucking dad just pray for a miracle and hope that some idiot will see sarahs face and say.. "THAt's the one i've been looking for!" cause christ. if that's what he's hoping for, he's not gonna get it. i dont think ANY of us are "model material" or ever GONNA be, or even WANT to be for that matter. i swear, if he thinks this is some easy way to make money, he's fucking WRONG. and if he has to learn the hard way.. even though he's already learned so many things the hard way.. then he'll freaking learn it again. i swear man.. this is such a remarkably stupid way to waste your time and money. but of course, they never listen to ME. whatever. they can do what they want with sarah i guess. maybe she even likes it. maybe they've already planted this crazy unbelieveable idea in her head that she could one day be a freaking model. i have NO idea.. all i know is, that me and suh will have to be chained up and DRAGGEd up back there before we choose to go there willingly. WHAT A WASTE.... WHAT A FREAKING WASTE! i mean.. i need to go to fucking college! i'm going to get a real job.. not like them.. sometimes, i really despise my parents... despise them enough to accummlate so much hate at them, that the hate would burn their guts through their stomachs and out their fucking skins. this is definately one of those times. i would just like to go to hell now. i dont even know why i bother with school. i dont even know why i'm trying to achieve something so impossible. why does a drowning person panic and flounder.. why does a dying person struggle.. why do i try for something, that i probably can't have anyway..
wondering,
karen.
Moving - Sunday, Mar. 02, 2008
Rambles and Kansas! - Thursday, Feb. 07, 2008
In Manhattan, Kansas! - Sunday, Jan. 20, 2008
Minnesota! - Saturday, Jan. 12, 2008
First Interview!!! - Wednesday, Nov. 28, 2007
