I was looking through some of my old entries and I noticed.. that I sure as heck came to you and vented a lot, quite angrily!! >_< Why was I so mad!? I don't understand it almost.. It's funny when you look back and think that you yourself were the one who was completely crazy. I almost want to delete some of those entries where I went mad.. afterall, madness is only temporary insanity. But, I want to remember my past and the things I felt and went through, that made me be the person I am now. Even though I've made a lot of mistakes in the past, I think I learned so much from them, and if I had never learned, then I would have stayed arrogant no? I miss a lot of people. People found in my memories. People that I used to call friends. I mean, I guess you could say that you still are friends.. but it's not really the same. I was looking at these old things I got from one of my best friends back in high school. She and I.. wow, we were so crazy together! I don't know how we went through the things we did. I was looking at this picture frame she made for me that says "lion and doggy friends 637", and all these old notes and notebooks, filled with letters and thoughts.. overflowing with love and friendship. And it really made me miss her. I don't even have her phone number anymore, and couldn't even call her if I wanted to. I know she's like.. obsessed with her boyfriend now and that's all she probably thinks about, but sometimes when I think about those memories, I wish I could step back into the past and remember all the fun we used to have together.
What sucks about life's lesson are.. that a lot of times, they come with a price tag. The loss of friendship, the loss of knowing someone.. Yes, you learn something, and you become a better person, but if it was your mistake, that person won't always forgive you. That's I guess, one of the reasons why I forgive others, because I myself would want the forgiveness and be friends. Well.. I really have to be off to Mike's dinner, but now I'm a little sad. >_<
I'm sorry Anita, and I know you're sorry too. I only wish that somehow, we could say it to each other's faces, or if you only even knew what how I felt about everything.
<3 Karen
p.s. I don't think I should ever clean out my room again.. sometimes, it leaves everything messier than it already was.
Moving - Sunday, Mar. 02, 2008
Rambles and Kansas! - Thursday, Feb. 07, 2008
In Manhattan, Kansas! - Sunday, Jan. 20, 2008
Minnesota! - Saturday, Jan. 12, 2008
First Interview!!! - Wednesday, Nov. 28, 2007
