I made better last night. Yeah, yeah.. I know.. cats & dogs I tell ya. A Promise is a Promise, and I'm going to keep my end. I hope Bear can keep his end also.. but, it's NOT an eye for an eye!! Right? Heyy, all of us, lifelong friends.. I think the key is p a t i e n c e.
I feel very confused about so many things in my life right now. I have a problem with making decisions, esp. when it comes to me making ties with me. Sometimes I feel like there are so many things I would like to change about myself.. for example, stopping bad habits. It's really really really hard for me to stop. I guess, b/c I've been doing this since I was 10? I feel like I don't know HOW to stop. I feel like I don't know where to begin, even thought I want to. A funny thing about bad habits are.. you don't WANT to stop. There may be a desire to stop, but like a stubborn kid, I don't want to. Even through this Tobey, I know what I have to do. I can't do this for the rest of my life you know? It's craziness. It's obsessive. It's certainly not healthy. I HAVE TO STOP, without anyone cheering me on to do so. It's gotta start from within me, or else.. when the cheerleaders leave, it could just start up all over again.[sigh] Please help me..
I was took Cory to the park today; it was gorgeous. There is this part of the park if you go just a little deeper in, it's really a beautiful place. I mean, you have to look past the marked benches, beer bottles, and trash.. but behind all this litter and debris, it's really so wonderfully beautiful. I love sitting there with Cory and watching nature peek back out after we've settled. I didn't want to leave.. I just wanted to stay.
I thought a lot about why things end up a certain way, and how things come to be. It can be really truly strange, unexpected, and a little stressful. Other things can be a surprising taste of sweet. My life can seem so horrible at times, and so wonderful during others.. I guess that's just life for you huh? Sometimes, I get things that others want, but I do not wish to have. Sometimes I watch others get what I desparately desire. This "wanting" for something is silly isn't it? There are certain things that I know without a doubt in my mind, which are true to me. That I love my life, through the good and bad. That there is a God, no matter which path you take to meet him. I love my family and my family loves me. I care about my best buddies and I love them all so much. These things I know to be True. But, "Something's Missing", like the song by John Mayer.. heh, [and I don't know what it is, no, I don't know what it is!] Okay.. no time to elaborate. Going to lunch with my friends. Study it up all day at Barnes.. fun... TENNIS TONIGHT!! =D Yeah!! hehe.. ttyl doll.
<3 Karen
P.S. I think this is a funny but sad song.. I hope none of my friends get suckered this bad!! o_O
Ari Hest/Fascinate You
[I took you to a five star dinner. I bought you the most expensive wine. I even paid off the maitre d' to usher us up to the front of the line.
You told me you needed a stronger, slimmer man. So I went and joined the neighborhood gym. Though the weights put my spine out of commission, even you can't deny that I am looking real slim.
You say you're taking your time. Maybe you don��t even care! Sometimes I wish I was much more easy to scare.. Why? God even knows how I try, I can't fascinate you. Something that I've realized. Nothing will ever do for you. But I will solve this mystery, you��ve gotta give me the first clue.
You said you always wanted a humble man, so I sold my car and bought a beat up van. I guess that wasn't quite enough for you. So now I only speak up when I don't know how to follow your plan.
When you treat me unkind, I wanna leave you far behind. Then I think of all the things that make you so fine and I'm back in the role again.
I won't stop til I find the key. The key to you.
I took the challenge I must confess. I never met someone so hard to impress. But all you need is someone to love you. Who needs the rest?]
Moving - Sunday, Mar. 02, 2008
Rambles and Kansas! - Thursday, Feb. 07, 2008
In Manhattan, Kansas! - Sunday, Jan. 20, 2008
Minnesota! - Saturday, Jan. 12, 2008
First Interview!!! - Wednesday, Nov. 28, 2007
