I'm usually so good about getting myself out of a emotional ditch, especially, a pit that has been in existance for a while, but tonight, the damn self-pity remains. Damn. I'm pissed at myself, but I can't change the situation for what it's worth right now. I am very much parked, stuck, beached, completely stranded, not to mention feeling abandoned.
Well, besides for feeling like crap, I watched what I would have to say was one of the WORST movies ever. Cellular was just bad EVERYTHING. We only ended up choosing the movie because one of Mike's co-workers said that it was a good movie. Apparently they have horrid taste in movies because this movie sucked ass! It was, however, good for some comic relief. But, not in the least sense was it suspenseful, dramatic, or heart-pounding as it was supposed to be. It was just stupidly funny. But I'd really have to say that overall, it was a disaster of a movie.
I also went to see another house in Diamond Bar with Ben, and it turned out to be unfavorable to my current living conditions. The dogs didn't get along... the guy was kind of nit picky about things, and telling me about "rules" of the kitchen and house, such as not having visitors after dark during the weekdays.. etcetera, etcetera..! Oh, and they have some roommates movie thing when they can on Sundays. Gimme a break. I do not intend to join another family where they can give my friends a curfew of how long they can stay. Granted, I understand his concern if we were loud or bothering them, but other than that, I see no need to find another PARENT. No thank you. He was just WEIRD. I really really much prefer the house in Chino Hills with the 3 boys because they seem the most laid back and chill, AND they are willing to let my Cory Pie go in and out as he pleases, which is the most important thing to me. This has been SO STRESSFUL!! I really hope Cris calls me tomorrow with good news.
Cory... is seriously like, a child. It's been very, very.. VERY difficult for me to find a living place for me AND him. I do realize that he is only a dog. But, I love this dog and I am not willing to just give it up because the situation has gotten a little difficult. This may sound incredibly stupid, but if you love someone (and don't laugh at the fact that I genuinely love my dog!), you don't just give up on the relationship when times get hard. What kind of love is that!? "Love is a verb", and saying shit about it before anything gets horrid is absolutely worthless when it comes down to necessary actions as times get bad. And dammit! I love my Cory Pie, and I'll match my actions to my words and I'm not just going to send him to another home just to make things easier on me. I mean, so what? Times get hard. Do you back out on things just because it's a little bit more work on your side to compromise?
For everyone, in every relationship and aspect in their life.. I'd think you'd find it much more worthwhile if you just simply put in a little more effort for the best possible outcome. Of course, that is depending on the situation, but at the least TRY your best before you decide to throw in the towel. At least you can look back and say that you gave it your all and there was no other way. And you know what? It sounds silly to some, but I'm giving my all for Cory so we can be together because I freaking love my dog. So there's no need to tell me to give it all up because it's not worth it. I think I am capable of deciding when I've exhausted all my efforts and when it's time to go to the absolute last resort. I'll keep trying because I believe that love is a verb. It's an action to be taken, that does not only exist in thought or is simply spoken. "Verb is what you do" no? Laugh all you want. Shake your head at me in disbelief, whatever! So what if a person loves their dog? It's really not so ridiculus or hard to believe. Love can go out to any creature. Four-legged or not.
So now.. I am off to bed with the sweetest orange sight I've ever known. =) 99.
<3 Karen
Moving - Sunday, Mar. 02, 2008
Rambles and Kansas! - Thursday, Feb. 07, 2008
In Manhattan, Kansas! - Sunday, Jan. 20, 2008
Minnesota! - Saturday, Jan. 12, 2008
First Interview!!! - Wednesday, Nov. 28, 2007
