So much for my promise. Sorry!! I'm a bit sick right now with some kind of cold. I just finished reading Something Borrowed by Emily Griffin. What a book. I fully loved it. Originally, I despised the story line. I mean, sleeping with your best friend's finance does not run with me. I mean that it's totally fucked up! I think the story works only because the best friend happens to be somewhat of a selfish bitch. I mean, if she was some sweet girl, you'd just feel sorry for her and not root for the one doing the dirty deed. She HAS TO be a bitch in the story, it wouldn't make any other sense. The reason I like the book is because I feel like the main character Rachel is practically yoinking thoughts out of my mind. Probably many girls think similar things and Emily Griffin does a great job with laying it out in the book. Anyhow, it's a great read, horribly tough to put down, and I finished it about 2 days.
There are no moral absolutes.
Well, what else... I'm still the same.. carrying on with the same thing. Trying to divide my time between school, work, Mike, friends. Just with all that, it's enough for me. Then I'm supposed to try to squeeze in the gym too! Oh, just kill me. I am well aware that I've gained some odd number of pounds that I really shouldn't have that much trouble shedding. I think my problem is my consistency. I'm reluctant to change. I always resist it until no further choice. I feel horrid for saying this, but for me, I think it's one of the reasons I could never break up with my boyfriends in the past. It's because it was too much trouble for change. There's agony in change. Too much uncertainty with the future. In some ways, I don't like change, but I also know in others, I'm moved towards it. Like trasferring out of Saddleback College for one. I was eager to do that. I was eager to move out. I think when the subject matter has to do with other people, or with something I don't willingly want to do, I resent change. I put it off and think to deal with it later.
I've been thinking so much lately. I have so much built up confusion inside myself and I focus on trying to find an answer to what I seek. I think it will pretty much be impossible however, and the only way I'll really be able to know is to experience what I question. How can I answer my question through only theory? Theories and experiements mismatch more often than do. I'll be truly bummed if things don't work out the way I thought, but I also might be miserable and regretful if I don't try to find what I seek. I just don't know. I feel like I'm going crazy. I've been writing a lot on my computer word journal... for private thoughts, because I've become heavy with them as of late. I feel greatly burdened, but I don't wish to make a decision until I fully know and understand the pros and cons of the paths I have planned.
I'll let you know as soon as I do.
<3 Karen
Moving - Sunday, Mar. 02, 2008
Rambles and Kansas! - Thursday, Feb. 07, 2008
In Manhattan, Kansas! - Sunday, Jan. 20, 2008
Minnesota! - Saturday, Jan. 12, 2008
First Interview!!! - Wednesday, Nov. 28, 2007
