Hi sweetheart. I start fall quarter tomorrow! I'm not very excited. BAH. Anyhow.. I've been thinking a lot (as usual), and I recently finished reading a book called The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho and it's making me think even more. I just wanted to leave an exerpt from the book.
"My heart is a traitor," the boy said to the alchemist, when they had paused to rest the horses. "It doesn't want me to go on."
"That makes sense," the alchemist answered. "Naturally it's afraid that, in pursuing your dream,you might lose everything you've won."
"Well, then, why should I listen to my heart?"
"Because you will never again be able to keep it quiet. Even if you pretend not to have heard what it tells you, it will always be there inside you, repeating to you what you're thinking about life and the world."
....
"Even though I complain sometimes," it said, "it's because I'm the heart of a person, and people's hearts are that way. People are afraid to pursue their most important dreams, because they feel that they don't deserve them, or that they'll be unable to achieve them. We, their hearts, become fearful just thinking of loved ones who go away forever, or of moments that could have been good but weren't, or of treasures that might have been found but were forever hidden in the sands. Because, when these things happen, we suffer terribly."
"My heart is afraid that it will have to suffer," the boy told the alchemist one night as they looked up at the moonless sky.
"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself."
"Everyone on earth has treasure that awaits him," his heart said. "We, people's hearts, seldom say much about those treasures, because people no longer want to go in search of them. We speak of them only to children. Later, we simply let life proceed, in its own direction, toward its own fate. But, unfortunately, very few follow the path laid out for them - the path to their Personal Legends and to happiness. Most people see the world as a threatening place, and, because they do, the world turns out, indeed, to be a threatening place.
So, we, their hearts, speak more and more softly. We never stop speaking out, but we begin to hope that our words won't be heard: we don't want people to suffer because they don't follow their hearts."
"Why don't people's hearts tell them to continue to follow their dreams?" the boy asked the alchemist.
"Because that's what makes a heart suffer most, and heart's don't like to suffer."
From then on, the boy understood his heart. He asked it, please, never to stop speaking to him. He asked that, when he wandered far from his dreams, his heart press him and sound alarm. The boy swore that, every time he heard the alarm, he would heed its message.
Now you can see why this book has got me thinking about my own Personal Legend. I feel that I know what it is. I feel that I know exactly what it is, but I'm also afraid to pursue it for fear of loss. Losing what I already have in my case for something that might not even be. It's not that I'm unhappy. It's just that I feel that if I found my treasure, I would be the happiest person on this earth. It's a hard thing to decide.. and then again, I wonder if what I wish for so badly is even my correct treasure.
Well, in other words, I went to the Bloc Party concert last night. The first opening band, The Noisettes, were freaking awesome! They have a great sound. I can't say the same for the second opening band, The Kills. They sucked. It was very repetitive and totally unoriginal (in my opinion). Then while we were waiting for Bloc Party to come on, a boy and girl (of high school age) pushed through the crowd and decided to stand right in front of us. I mean, it was pretty damn packed, but they decided to make it even more packed where we were. This annoyed me, but I didn't think that much of it. Then he starts swaying and moving around a lot with his girlfriend (bear in mind that no band has started to play) and he elbows me three times in the chest. I became extremely agitated and on the fourth blow I push his dumb ass back. I didn't think he would turn around to look at me, but he did. So I told him to stop elbowing me in the boob!!! He did apologize, but I was still pissed. I was with KB and Jung and I thought that maybe KB was mad at me for yelling at some dumb kid. Fortunately, he was on my side on this one. Actually, in hind sight, I think I should have just ignored the kid. He was quite young. But, you know. In the midst of anger, shit happens. Bloc Party came on and everyone started going crazy! It was a good concert. Me, Jung and KB ate at Philipes before going in. I freaking love that place. French dipped sandwiches and potato salad so hit the spot. Must get in bed for school tomorrow. Talk to you laters! Ciao.
<3 Karen
Moving - Sunday, Mar. 02, 2008
Rambles and Kansas! - Thursday, Feb. 07, 2008
In Manhattan, Kansas! - Sunday, Jan. 20, 2008
Minnesota! - Saturday, Jan. 12, 2008
First Interview!!! - Wednesday, Nov. 28, 2007
