Hi love... how are you? I'm doing all right. Last night, Mike and I ate at BJ's and actually ate something different. We also watched some Tenacious D episodes on dvd that were actually pretty funny! I was surprised. Then we did a little talking. Or.. rather, me talking. I said just about everything I wanted to say that I had thought about this past week. And I felt good for being able to let him know what was on my mind. And he replied very honestly with what he thought. Which was that he wasn't sure if he had the energy to continue with us. We've been through a lot. I think it took a lot out of both of us. So... in other words, he still doesn't know. It's a little frustrating on my part because that means... I'm the one sitting here, offering my apologies to him and waiting for him to decide what to do, one of which, could be to just break up with me. Doesn't sound like a great deal right? When I think about it now, I know that I've made a lot of mistakes. I know that Mike also made his share of mistakes as well. But he's done his share of apologizing a long while ago, and I let the bad things stretch out and linger on... and did not apologize because I hadn't realized a lot of things at the time. I see things from a different light now.. a perspective that I think comes from who I really am. And I know that by me waiting to see what Mike decides... I'm giving this relationship my all, and if it doesn't work out, I'll know that I gave it my best shot. At least on my part. If things don't work out... I won't be regretful... I'll be glad to know that it didn't work with certainty.
I guess that's what I'm just trying to expect from Mike now. I want to be able to prepare myself for whatever happens. And if Mike decides not to be with me... then I need to be ready to accept that. I can't hope that he'll try again. I think it would really crush me if I had all these high hopes and dreams for us. So I need to let them go. I know I'll be okay in the end... Bye Tobey.
<3 Karen
Moving - Sunday, Mar. 02, 2008
Rambles and Kansas! - Thursday, Feb. 07, 2008
In Manhattan, Kansas! - Sunday, Jan. 20, 2008
Minnesota! - Saturday, Jan. 12, 2008
First Interview!!! - Wednesday, Nov. 28, 2007
