i'm in a sullen mood right now. just a few minutes ago i was dancing and singing to spongebob square pants.. then a few sentances broke me down into nothing. what's the matter with me? i should be so happy for this person. but im not. everything that was promised was nothing but lies. and i cant believe i STILL feel this way. even after my discovery and everything. i'm STILL bitter. and i refuse to forgive. i tell myself.. JUST DO IT! because that's how i've been doing things lately. but that angry fire in my heart still hasn't burnt out. i'd say it's calmed down a little and it's small as hell.. but it's a little fire that continues to burn... and burn. i did say sometimes.. there is never forgiveness. maybe this is the case. maybe i will never ever give up on this person until i find something better to waste my time on. or maybe even after that, i'll still be bitter and damning this person. i dont really know? maybe i'll just grow old and die alone. maybe thats how it was meant to be. ugghh.. i cant say that! i dont believe in fate. thats nonsense. i can change anything that i want. i've always believed that.. but i just dont have the energy or heart to forgive the person who hurt me most. i just can't believe he let me love him so much, and let me believe he loved me just as much. when it wasn't true at all. love wasn't true for me then. and before then.. and before then. THEN WHEN?! i'm tired of waiting for immature boys to grow up. i'm just tired of everything. nothing will ever be the same as they were.. so just give it up and let it go. *i tell you how i feel, but you don't care. i say tell me the truth, but you don't dare. you say love is a hell you cannot bear. and i say give me mine back and then go there for all i care. i got my feet on the floor and i don't go to sleep to dream. you got you're head in the clouds. you're not at all what you seem. this mind this body and this voice cannot be stifled by your devious ways.. so don't forget what i told you, don't come around, i got my own hell to raise.* - fiona apple
<3 Karen
Moving - Sunday, Mar. 02, 2008
Rambles and Kansas! - Thursday, Feb. 07, 2008
In Manhattan, Kansas! - Sunday, Jan. 20, 2008
Minnesota! - Saturday, Jan. 12, 2008
First Interview!!! - Wednesday, Nov. 28, 2007
