do you believe in fate? cause i don't. i think fate is just an excuse for people to explain to themselves why things are they way they are. but it's not. thats such bs. "we were meant to be together"... "things happen for a reason". ok, that first quote.. PLEASE.. how can you be meant to be for ANYONE, when it's all based on your decisions which can change at any random moment.. and the second one.. sure.. things can happen, and you can learn from them. but it's not that those things happened on purpose so that you could learn from them. NO. they weren't MEANT to happen for YOU. that's so dumb! how can anyone think that way? fate. HA. i especially hate the movie 'serendipity' omg. it's was the most unrealistic movie i'd ever seen in my whole life and it also made me want to GAG. it was so silly! i mean, did you hear what the girl said? "you get on one elevator, i'll get on the other, and if we both choose the same floor, then we're meant to be together." hello?! what a PSYCHO! how silly is that?? anyways, i don't believe in fate simply because i know that every human being has the power within themselves to change any sorts of decisions going on in their lives any way they CHOOSE. and they can change their minds about it too. it's not fate. it's your decision. "destiny is not a matter of chance, it's a matter of choice. it's not something to be waitied for, it's something to be achieved." i believe that you choose your own destiny. god didn't make anyone to be a certain way. you choose. not god. not anyone else. and not fate. i know this because there have been many times when i've been thrown down at the flames of hell (or so it seemed.) and i felt so horrible inside that i just wanted to sit there and just burn out and die. but something saved me. i saved myself. it dawned on me that i can change things. that it doesn't have to be this way. the hell that i'd been thrown down into.. it was only a hell that i had created for myself. when i realized that, i knew that i could create something better for myself. maybe not heaven, but something realistic. a place i can say that i'm happy in. yeah sure, there are days when i'm just peering over the cliff where my hell once lay. i can feel my feet almost slipping down while the rocks tumble into the flames. there are even some days when i swear that i'm hanging off the cliff with my bare hands. but i've never gone back in. cause i know i can make things better for myself by changing my attitude. i really feel for the people that are stuck in that hellhole. because i know what it's like to have been there.. but when you've been in there for so long... don't you want to get out? you can't stay in there forever.. sooner or later, your body will burst from the flames. and you'll just disinegrate as a person. you will be no more. and there's no trick to doing it. you just do it. you just change yourself to be the person you've always wanted to be. yourself. please, don't wallow in your puddle of self-pity. it's the absolute worst thing you could ever do to yourself. to think that your life sucks and you can't do a thing to change it. because you can. i did it.. i'm living proof that you can change your own life. so, just do it.
anyways, i'm not sure why i'm writing about this tonight. i guess cause a many of my journals have been somewhat depressing.. sometimes i tend to write when i'm sad. b/c all my emotions come out and i don't know where else to put them, cept on paper.. (well kinda.) but yeah, so i wanted to write something so that i can look back and know that i have the strength to go on. and it's my choice to do so. anyways..! i have work tomm morning.. so take cares tobey. until next time.
* to dream the person you wish to be, is to waste the person that you are. *
<3 Karen
Moving - Sunday, Mar. 02, 2008
Rambles and Kansas! - Thursday, Feb. 07, 2008
In Manhattan, Kansas! - Sunday, Jan. 20, 2008
Minnesota! - Saturday, Jan. 12, 2008
First Interview!!! - Wednesday, Nov. 28, 2007
