i'm exhausted from today! i worked for 4.5 hours and went to pick plants with adam. it was fun, but do you know how hard it is to ride a bike UPHILL??? i was totally feelings the burn and almost fell over once! it was so beautiful though! and both of us got stung by stinging neadle. ack! i stomped on it after we decided not to take it anymore. gRR! my finger is in PAIN right now. it really does STING... >_< i'm worried about how i did on those last two tests... it's just so discouraging when you try and you try and try and the results are slim.. i just don't know what to do anymore. i really really REALLY want to pursue becoming a wildlife veternarian. but... i gotta have a backup plan. *sigh* now i don't know what to do. i didn't realize i might want to apply for vet school. i NEED a B ATLEAST in ochem. actually, an A would look much better. i know i can get an A in biology still. i just have to work harder. but studying for ochem and studying for biology are two totally different agendas. i'd rather study for biology any day! biology is time comsuming, but if you put in the effort you'll see results. in ochem.. you can put in effort, but if you truly don't understand the mechanisms. that's it. it's over! i wouldn't be so worried about my grade if we weren't taking the american chemical society exam at the end of the year as our final. i truly don't know how BADLY im going to do on it and how it's going to affect my grade.
it's hard to be religous. i find it hard to stop my tongue from saying diasterous things, and stay level minded. i can become very irrational at times, and i'm used to letting my emotions go wild. i want be a strong christain. if i'm going to be religious, i want to be 110%. i'm not into going half way with things. it's all or nothing, and i've chosen all the way, no turning back. i'm fasting from the media for two weeks and i'm not going to change it just b/c my spring break is going to be in the second week of my fast. i was going to change it. but i realized if i did, i would be doing it for me and not for God. if i change it just to accomadate my needs and move it around how i want it be... what good is that? i said i'm commiting and i AM! so my dear tobey. my last entry will probably be tomorrow or tonight for about two weeks. fasting from secular music was not as hard as i thought it would be. strange? i really enjoy chris tomlin, dave crowder band, ect. ect.! and it's SUCH a different attitude you posess when you give up secular music. so. you may not see me for a while tobes.. but i'll be back! with new from the outside world. =)
<3 karen
p.s. oh yeah! i forgot to tell you. that test i took at okcupid.com they say i'm "the sonnet" (Deliberate, Gentle, Love, Dreamer) can you believe that????!!! i don't think i'm gentle at all? i don't think i'm a dreamer most of the time at all either! i don't know why i got this crazy answer. i think i'm very logical and organized... hmm... maybe i don't know myself as well as i think i do and maybe they don't know me as well as they think they do either! anyways.. there is one definate true thing from here anyway..
"Sonnets want Love and have high ideals about it. They're conscientious people, caring & careful. You yourself have deep convictions, and you devote a lot of thought to romance and what it should be. This will frighten away most potential mates, but that's okay, because you're very choosy with your affections anyway. You'd absolutely refuse to date someone dumber than you, for instance. Lovers who share your idealized perspective, or who are at least willing to totally throw themselves into a relationship, will be very, very happy with you. And you with them. You're already selfless and compassionate, and with the right partner, there's no doubt you can be sensual, even adventurously so. You probably have lots of female friends, and they have a special soft spot for you. Babies do, too, at the tippy-top of their baby skulls."
wow. i "frighten away potential mates." i think that's so true!! haha. and uh. i'm not actually quite so fond of babies actually. i mean. they're cute and all, but they're BABIES. i have yet to encounter an UGLY baby, and no i DONT have a soft spot for them.. hmm.. and my best friends are guys. sheesh. what do they know?! anyhow.. here's a poem for you~!
" after a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul.
you learn that love doesn't mean leaning on someone, and company doesn't mean security.
you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts, and presents aren't promises.
you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and eyes open; with the grace of an adult and not the grief of a child.
you learn to build all your roads on today, because tomorrow's road is much too uncertain.
after a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much.
so you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
you learn to count on yourself, realize you really have strength, because you really do have worth. you learn and you learn. with every goodbye you learn. "
[poem by someone... but i can't remember who?! it just opens my eyes everytime i read it.]
Moving - Sunday, Mar. 02, 2008
Rambles and Kansas! - Thursday, Feb. 07, 2008
In Manhattan, Kansas! - Sunday, Jan. 20, 2008
Minnesota! - Saturday, Jan. 12, 2008
First Interview!!! - Wednesday, Nov. 28, 2007
