I'm quite peeved at the moment. Why am I always getting the short end of the stick? My parents are so happy that my sister got into UCLA. And you know what? I'm proud of her too. I'm always proud of her. You know our situation however, and I don't understand why my parents don't encourage my sister to just transfer there to save money. I don't understand it, but I do know WHY they want her to go there. They just want to be able to say.. "I have a daughter who goes to UCLA!" Now.. they just want me to go anywhere to save money... WHY?? Because I didn't apply and get into UCLA? I KNOW they don't want me to go Santa Cruz, which is where I so long to be. If anything they tell me.. they tell me to go to Davis because it's a better school. Or they want me to apply to Cal Poly Pomona for winter quarter, which is actually not a bad idea. BUT---I can't help but feel... a bit ticked off about it. Why can't I go where I want to go? Why don't they ask my sister to go to community college first and then transfer? We all know that she can do it and go to any school she wants... why am I always encouraged to take the small stuff?! I suppose it's because, I'm not smart compared to my sister. I mean, I know that, and I don't mind that. She works really hard, and I'm so proud of her and love her to death! I just don't understand my parents...
Just when I thought.. things were getting better, I'm getting bitter. It's so stupid.. everything they tell me is a bunch of lies. They just feed me what they can so that I will accept things for the way they want it to be. "If you applied and got into UCs straight after HS, we would encourage you to go there too!" ..... "The only reason we want you to think about applying to Cal Poly Pomona is because Santa Cruz is so far and you wouldn't come home often!" ..... What a bunch of LIES!! I'm so pissed. They have all these low standards of me and I personally am getting really fed up with it. More and more, I don't want to be here, living with my parents. I'm tired of hearing my mom screaming like a crazy person. I'm tired of watching my father SIT THERE. I'm tired of them trying to turn Sarah into this "model". I'm tired of this BS, and I'm tired of this family. I can't even study in this house, it's so bad that I have to leave the house to get something done. Maybe this is just the angry, bitter side of me talking, but I'm so pissed right now.. I don't even care! I'm tired of them lecturing me about things they don't have a CLUE about. I'm tired of living here and I want to get OUT!! What am I supposed to do....
<3 Karen
Moving - Sunday, Mar. 02, 2008
Rambles and Kansas! - Thursday, Feb. 07, 2008
In Manhattan, Kansas! - Sunday, Jan. 20, 2008
Minnesota! - Saturday, Jan. 12, 2008
First Interview!!! - Wednesday, Nov. 28, 2007
