Last night, I took Cory over to Bear's house b/c Judy had brought Scruffy there! They were going crazzzzy...! At first I thought COry didn't like Scruffy, b/c he was growling and stuff.. >_< but, he got over it and just wanted to play! After that, all we saw was a blur of orange, white and brown running all over the house. It was really cute. Now they are really truly "dogsters". =D Bear and I watched 'Chasing Amy', which was a really funny movie. I sort of didn't get to see all of it b/c half the time I had to go keep checking up on Cory and making sure he wasn't being a bad puppy! So, I'm definitely going to have to sit down and watch it again sometime this week. It's very interesting, a guy chasing love down in a lesbian woman. She's very open minded, and I love her little spiel when they're just lying together and she just untangles her whole mentality about herself. I mean, I don't support the fact that she's lesbian, but I do support her way of thought!
I went to NewSong today with Johnny and got a very good sermon from Larry Crabbs. I walked away different, knowing that I had learned something valuable. I really liked his whole analogy about how our lives can mirror a mall directory, and where the "you are here" dot are at so many different places for all kinds of people. We're always getting lost, and not being able to find our way to where we want to be. Which is another problem in itself, the desire to make our lives better and good. I know that I for one, am always trying to make my life more "comfortable" for myself; more convienent for me, and not always fixating on the fact that I should be more focused when it comes to my walk with God.
When I said I was changing my life to what I know to be true about four months ago, I knew I couldn't be the way I was before. Always making my life better for ME. And if there's one thing I refuse to be, is a mediocre Christian; a church goer; a Sunday worshipper. I also very stubborn in the way that when I came back to God, it had to be because I genuinely wanted to. I didn't want to become a Christian just because my family was, or because my sister asked me to be more open minded, or based on some "feelings" I happened to be experiencing during a sermon. I didn't want the sappy music or words to affect my decision, because feelings fade, but Truth doesn't. I wanted it to be Real. I had been contemplating about it a long time before it, and all that was holding me back was the doubt. I had some serious doubts about God and for a while in my life even considered myself to be an atheist. I didn't even like the label of most "Christian's", because it didn't seem like their lives were changed or affected in any way. They still got drunk, did drugs, etcetera etcetera. Now mind you, it's perfectly all right to drink alcohol, just not become intoxicated. I mean, even his disciples drank alcohol in the bible. And I've no qualms with any of my friends who are not religous and choose to do whatever they want. Actually, MOST of my friends are not religous. I can respect that because it's their decision and I can't change anyone by shoving the bible down their throat, nor would I want to do that.
I do not believe that people can change other people in general. I think people can have an affect on others, but certainly not change just because you want them to. I really despised people that when I was a non-believer, and I think a lot of people don't understand that you CANNOT change another being by force, blackmail, love, friendship, or whatever your method is when it comes to any subject: religion, personality, opinions, so on and so forth. For example, I know some people that say.. "If you love me, then you would change for me and do this and that!" or "If you don't change, then I won't either." or "I can't stand your ways and if you can't change, then we shouldn't be friends". What is up with that?! That's precisely what I meant when I wrote the 'Everyone's Different, So Are You' entry. Don't fear people you don't get. Know it, understand it, accept them for who they are (umm. unless they are about to kill you or something, that's DIFFERENT!).
Anyhow, this is getting quite long and I must study! Before I go, apologies to anyone who happens to stumble upon this with your disagreements on my thoughts. I'm not trying to sway anybody to my beliefs. It's just that I actually use this online diary as a REAL reflection of my thoughts and feelings. I mean that this IS my actual diary (although I've also a more "private" journal both online and off). So, I'm very sorry if I've offended anyone. Friends or strangers.
Talk to you laters Tobes!
<3 Karen
Moving - Sunday, Mar. 02, 2008
Rambles and Kansas! - Thursday, Feb. 07, 2008
In Manhattan, Kansas! - Sunday, Jan. 20, 2008
Minnesota! - Saturday, Jan. 12, 2008
First Interview!!! - Wednesday, Nov. 28, 2007
