Hi love! Long time no talk huh? I've been so busy, I don't even have time to go on the computer anymore... helping Bear move into his apartment, working at the bank, going to my parents store, going to see KB, hanging out with the regulars.. it's all very time consuming and I find myself too exhausted at the end of the day to drag myself upstairs and come talk to you! Sometimes, I don't even GO home. Working at the bank has been really fun so far! They finally gave me my box and keys so I could actually run some transactions. It sure beats standing there just watching other tellers. I made some mistakes but I was balanced at the end of the day so I was happy!
Plans for the day today: working 12:30 - 6:30, and maybe watching a movie with friends afterwards, then PACKING for Rosarito! I'm not really going to bring a lot of stuff or anything. I've always been a pretty light packer, and we gotta get everyone's stuff into my car. I've been ordered to take out all the stuffed animals in my car so as to not attract any unwanted attention once we get to Mexico. So, I must clean out my car as well! Some of those stuffed favorites are going to stay out for good.
I went to see KB last night where he was working and it sort of made me sad. He works in a city called South Gate and it's such different living in other cities compared to orange county. I know I shouldn't have so much pity when some of those people put themselves into that situation and I know a lot of those people still do live well enough/decently. I know most of them aren't starving to death, and are probably in better condition than I imagine.. yet, I feel downright horrible for living the way that I do when I see homeless people, or I guess even lower class families. I just feel like so much of it is not fair in the slightest sense. It reminded me of when I went to TJ with everyone and saw homeless mothers that were asleep on the street with their children trying to sell gum. That really tugs at my heartstrings. It makes me mad that everyday people are aware of these situations but go off and buy more than they could ever need for themselves. YES, I know it's their money, and maybe they did earn it. YES, I know I do similar things. But it still pisses me off when I see ignorant rich people driving around in their fancy cars, buying stupid, needless, expensive material CRAP to make their damned lives a little easier. How is this fair?!! Damn it, I wish people could be selfless enough to let communism WORK! yeah yeah... I know.. it doesn't work. I just wish it did, that's all.
In happier words, I was more than happy enough to spend time with KB in any way possible, even if it's something like sitting with him at work! We went back to his place after and finished Galaxy Quest. I didn't want to leave.. I just wanted to stay. You know Tobey, everything with him is so good right now. I've been seeing a lot of him especially this past week and this entire summer with him has been nothing short of absolutely wonderful. I see him so much and still I always want more. It makes me wonder what things are going to be like come August 23rd and school is going to become a huge barrier with us. I'm looking forward to school and I'm also not looking forward to it. I'm always excited to go back to school and start fresh! But we're going to both have this school thing to put above and beyond everything else.. everything including each other. After I come back from Rosarito, there will only be a few more days before school starts. It's just hard to hope for the best when you're expecting a huge let down. I don't know Tobey. I don't have any regrets in life because it's all a part of who I am today, but I just hate going through the process of letting go. Especially when on your part, you don't want to. The pain that one has to endure can be excruciating and it's really as if your heart is bleeding tears. It's hard, but it can be done. I guess I can't even make any assumptions when it hasn't even happened yet right? So, we'll see where everything takes us. I hope for the better, but it could be for the worse. I'm off to play with Cory Pie and get ready for work! Talk to you later TObey..
I miss someone..! =)
<3 Karen
[The best secret kept, is one that's left unsaid.]
Moving - Sunday, Mar. 02, 2008
Rambles and Kansas! - Thursday, Feb. 07, 2008
In Manhattan, Kansas! - Sunday, Jan. 20, 2008
Minnesota! - Saturday, Jan. 12, 2008
First Interview!!! - Wednesday, Nov. 28, 2007
