Hi love. At the moment, feeling a bit steamed. I'm irritated and I don't understand this situation in the least bit. Honestly, I am NO ONE keeper. I do intend to watch out for my friends, but I refuse to BABY them. I'm a friend, NOT a mother. I will give you sound advice when needed, but I will not force this advice upon you. I'm not going to go into detail on this matter because it's not really my place to say any more. But that's my final say. If you don't agree to what I think, then I apologize in advance, but go get your diapers changed elsewhere.
Regarding something else. Sometimes, I don't understand my relationship with a very good friend of mine. Fucking shiza, we have been through so much together, I couldn't possibly just throw it all away because of some silly little fights. Even though we are in disagreement about many, MANY things, I still think that it's worth keeping. I don't think that a friendship should be thrown away just because it doesn't benefit you. You never really even know if it WILL eventually come to benefit you. Not only that.. but why should one be friends with another JUST because it soley benefits you? That's just weird to me. I couldn't possibly start going down my friends on a list and say.. this person does this for me, and this other person makes me laugh all the time, so on and so forth. I really don't care about that so much. I don't feel like I need to put out a set of rules and requirements to what defines friendship. All I really ask, is that you treat me with respect, whether or not our opinions differ on various subjects.
Which comes to another very important point I would like to make from this entry. I'm sorry if you and I don't always agree, but I don't see that as any excuse to treat me like.. something lower, or something inferior. Do you really think that your thoughts are correct consistently? Has it ever occured to you that you might be wrong? Just like I have been wrong before? Isn't it true that everyone is liable to making mistakes and everyone deserves a second chance.. Yes, I believe this. But dammit, don't talk to me like I'm a piece of shit please! You know what is the most irritating thing out of this all? You treat all these people that hardly know you with a great amount of respect, but why the HELL do you treat your close loved ones like crap? Just because I love you doesn't mean that you can talk to me like that. That just isn't right. I don't know how many times I have tried to discuss this with you. I know you are just pissed "in the moment" and you always, ALWAYS say things you take back later, but wouldn't it be so much less hurtful if you could just watch what you say instead of spitting shit out that you just say sorry for later? Sometimes, I wish that I was a stranger to you so that you could actually be nice to me. Because you have yet to be inconsiderate with a person you barely know without good cause.
I think it's an absolute uproar how someone appears to be on the outside and what they are really like on the inside. I would think that for the most part, one would be consistent, plus or minus only a few discrepencies. Not an entire Jekyll and Hyde type personality.
Is this really so hard to understand.. why is it so impossible for us to be civil with one another.. Is there no such thing as compromise in our relationship... I keep trying to fight off this madness in our relationship so that we can weather the storm, but I'm just beginning to feel so tired from all of this craziness. I feel weary and bruised. You hurt my feelings over and over again and I don't want to ask you to stop when you never do. JUST STOP. Just give me a little respect and I promise I will do the same for you.
<3 Karen
Moving - Sunday, Mar. 02, 2008
Rambles and Kansas! - Thursday, Feb. 07, 2008
In Manhattan, Kansas! - Sunday, Jan. 20, 2008
Minnesota! - Saturday, Jan. 12, 2008
First Interview!!! - Wednesday, Nov. 28, 2007
