Hi love. Sorry! I know I'm long overdue for a post. Just been busy with school and attempting to study. I have my first vertebrate zoology test on Friday and a cell/molec bio quiz on Thursday. Those really shouldn't be too bad.
About what I wrote last time. I realize it was all emotions talking and little reasoning. Just a pit I was in that's all. I mean, I think everyone goes through ups and downs in any kind of relationship. That was my little down, but I'm definitely feeling better. No, but really. Overall, I really can't complain much. We mesh fairly well together I would say. Michael and I been lucky with very few complications. If there is any short spats between us, it seems to always come out in some form of a joke and ends up in laughter because we never take those spats seriously. If anything, we've maybe had one issue that was more on the serious side, but we discussed it and moved forward.
I think forgiving and forgetting is essential in a relationship. By "forgetting", I don't mean the incident being erased from your mind. I use this term loosely to mean, not holding grudges against the other person for past actions. I think if you say that you forgive someone, then you should EAT YOUR WORDS and ACT like you truly forgave them and don't bring up the sore memories for unnecessary reasons. This means, later down the road, you DO NOT use past for comparison to the present. i.e. "Well, what about the time you did ______!!" or... "You did it before too, so why can't I?" I don't believe in 'an eye for an eye'. Simply because, "An eye for an eye and we'd all be blind." So! Don't say you forgave them for something when you didn't truly forgive them in heart and still hold pain that you refuse to put away. To forgive someone is certainly not easy. To me, it's a decision to be acted on. And before you make this decision, you really have to want to forgive this person and accept their actions as ALREADY done. "Done bun can't be undone" Also think it's important to forgive yourself and realize it's not any one person's fault more than the other. People make mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. The reason why people do what they do is irrelevant in the end because most likely, you will never fully understand why a person did a certain thing because you simply are NOT THEM and haven't gone though the rainbow of their experiences, no matter how similar things may seem. What's of importance is NOT repeating the same mistakes and being able to genuinely forgive those mistakes. If I found myself forgiving someone several times for the same action, I would have to start questioning myself. Forgiving someone for the same mistake over and over again usually leads to the forgiveness growing thinner, fainter, and less genuine until there simply is no more trust, which is simply the backbone of a good relationship in my opinion.
So, more importantly, I think Michael and I have a lot of trust between us, which I've never really felt fully in any prior relationship on my half. You know I used to have that whole "trust" issue with guys and such. It even got to the point where I was going around questioning anything and everything because I simply had no idea what to expect. It ruined my past relationships and it ruined me as a person. I went through trials in my life I thought I couldn't ever get through. It's an easy thing to break when one of the two persons lack it, but also an easy thing to maintain if both parties have it and believe it. For me, I got to a point in my life where I asked myself... "what the hell is the point of being in a relationship if you're always stressing out about _______, or _______, and _______." Fill in the blanks with whatever problems you will. It's all the same really. Most likely, these problems stem out from your own insecurities. Insecurities that most people believe are caused by the accumulation of bad experiences from the opposite sex. This is why men believe women are evil and visa versa. So really. What is the point? So you can become the World's Biggest Worry Wart? Talk about UN-fun and chance of ulcers. Let it go. I'm talking about your insecurities! No, not ALL men are evil just because 1, 2, 3, or whatever number of guys broke your heart in however many ways possible. The entire female population is not horrid just because a few left you, cheated on you, blah, BLAH, BLAH. Guess what happened? Life happened. It's not like you're Mr./Mrs. Perfect and handled all the situations you've come across with flying colors either. I can't seem to say it enough.
Everyone is susceptible to mistakes.
Genuinely forgive and "forget" those mistakes when you are ready to do so. Forgiving is a verb!
Leave the insecurities behind with those mistakes.
Trust is a verb. Love is a verb. Life is a verb.
<3 Karen
Nothing's so loud,
As hearing when we lie
The truth is not kind
And you've said neither am I
Nothing's so cold
As closing the heart
When all we need is to free the soul
But we wouldn't be that brave, I know
Moving - Sunday, Mar. 02, 2008
Rambles and Kansas! - Thursday, Feb. 07, 2008
In Manhattan, Kansas! - Sunday, Jan. 20, 2008
Minnesota! - Saturday, Jan. 12, 2008
First Interview!!! - Wednesday, Nov. 28, 2007
