Hi doll! I just gave Mr. Pie a bath and he's quite upset with me. hehe. It's cute. The only thing wonderful about this heat is that it's not freezing cold when I give Cory his bath. Had a little emergency yesterday and had to pick up KB from the car mechanic. I also had to give him a ride to his hospital he is interning at this morning since he had no car! Eventfully, that is what's going on..
Mindfully, I have a lot more going on. I sit, and I try to look from an outside viewer perspective. Everything looks fine. Somehow, I don't always feel fine with it. Not that I'm not happy. If I wasn't happy like this, I would just get up and walk away from it all wouldn't I? I think I have the strength, and I don't think I would really be hurting anyone in the process. Nothing they couldn't get over anyway. I guess I don't really know. I mean, how DOES one know when to walk away or stick around? Are there supposed to be signals that lead you to the right path? What if you are truly, genuinely confused with what you want. Because I feel like I really am. Not all the time mind you. Once in a blue moon.. sometimes more often than not however. It's really weird. I like to be the kind of person that knows what they want out of life in every aspect.
I feel like I'm waiting for something. I'm waiting for what I want to happen, but I'm not really sure if it's ever going to happen, and if it DOES happen, I don't think things will change that much. I feel silly. Some days I feel so RIGHT. Other days, I feel that this isn't what I'm looking for.
So what if I go searching for what I want? What if what I want, doesn't even really exist? I have a feeling it would be hard to find. I have a strange feeling that what I really want (if found), will come with a price tag, and that in the end wouldn't be worth it. And I'd just live out my life in regret. Well.. I'm not much of a regretter. I could definitely let it go, but.. it would be hard to begin again. It's always hard to start again once you've hit rock bottom. I feel that I've hit rock bottom enough times.
I feel silly that I don't know what to do. It's so unlike me to not really know.
<3 Karen
Yet another stupid test I have taken!
| You Are A Realistic Romantic |
You are more romantic than 70% of the population.
|
Moving - Sunday, Mar. 02, 2008
Rambles and Kansas! - Thursday, Feb. 07, 2008
In Manhattan, Kansas! - Sunday, Jan. 20, 2008
Minnesota! - Saturday, Jan. 12, 2008
First Interview!!! - Wednesday, Nov. 28, 2007
