I wish... it was easier to believe people and trust them again. I really despise feeling this way. I suppose I'll never understand it.. so maybe it's about time that I stop trying to understand things. I read my entry about people needing to understand that they can't fully understand each other... that people should be open-minded with each other, and I'm trying quite hard to apply it to my situation, but I'm finding it extremely difficult. And I know that's not fair to me or anyone else. And I'm trying, trying, trying.... and I just feel discouraged. I mean, what's the point? If I feel this way and I can't accept it and I can't change it.. what is the point of this happening. I have to accept what I can't change and change what I can't accept. So... if I come to the point of realization where I can see I can't accept.. There will definitely be a problem. I think I'll also feel that in some ways, I'll be the one being hypocritical just because of my own beliefs and what I tell other people when they want advice. I guess I need to try and step back and think long and hard about what I would tell myself if I were my own best friend, minus all my feelings of hurt, anger, and even happiness. I would have to be as if I never knew this person and I'd give the advice from my own point of view without discrimination. Is that going to be possible?? I want to try.. and what the outcome shall be, I won't know until I actually do it. So. I wish luck to myself, because this torment must stop. I'm not quite sure I can go on like this. I can't have myself feeling sorry for me all the time. I can't stay in that state of mind. I don't believe in wasting what time I have left here.
Sorry this is so depressing at the moment.. but it's just the way I feel right now.
<3 Karen
Moving - Sunday, Mar. 02, 2008
Rambles and Kansas! - Thursday, Feb. 07, 2008
In Manhattan, Kansas! - Sunday, Jan. 20, 2008
Minnesota! - Saturday, Jan. 12, 2008
First Interview!!! - Wednesday, Nov. 28, 2007
