What I think is truly amazing..... that even after all this time has passed, present pressing strange thoughts can still instill such doubt into your head. I wonder if the other party has this same doubt wandering around in some part of their brain. I guess it must in everyone really. Or maybe it's just me, which in that case, sucks.
I'm very sorry that these are my thoughts, but I really can't help them. Maybe it was reading too many stories, watching too many movies, and above all, having so much hope and expecting all the while..
I'm sorry to myself for being so undecisive, even though I act as if I've made a decision. I'm sorry to myself for letting myself down. It's not that I feel sorry for myself, but it's that I wish I could have more confidence in my decisions.
How come you never know what you are getting into in the beginning of anything and everything? I know this is a bad wish, but I wish I could see everything laid out in front of me like a map. To see if I had gone down one path, what it might have been like. To see what happens if I continue down the path I've chosen. To see what happens if I just stop midtrack for a while and do absolutely not a thing.
Don't misunderstand me. I love myself. I love my life. And I also hate it all sometimes too! Call it mood swings, pms, second thoughts, whatever you will... they usually are momentary and I end up figuring things out as I go along... It's just a process. Good night.
<3 Karen
Moving - Sunday, Mar. 02, 2008
Rambles and Kansas! - Thursday, Feb. 07, 2008
In Manhattan, Kansas! - Sunday, Jan. 20, 2008
Minnesota! - Saturday, Jan. 12, 2008
First Interview!!! - Wednesday, Nov. 28, 2007
