I don't know how to say this. So I'll just say it. Mike and I broke up. I feel disappointed. With me, with Mike, with our relationship... and with love. I know it's not the end of the world. But for me, right now... it feels like it. Mike was my world. My everything. I have to be honest with myself if I ever want to move on and realize things. I don't care if the whole world knows or doesn't know. I'm writing here because this diary has always been my escape. It's always been my rock of dependability when I wanted to vent, shout, cry, laugh... I'm more real in this diary than I am in life I think.. And I hate to sound pathetic, but that's what I feel that I am right now. I lost the person I love.
I think it really sucks that I always play the passive role. One thing that all of my past relationships have in common is that all of them picked me. Then dumped me. I don't think I should be that way anymore.
I don't even know how to describe how I feel. A million different things at once I guess. One of those feelings is shock. I almost don't believe it in a way. My life being the way it has been the past two plus years. Believing in love so much.. living in the comfort of someone's love... and suddenly, it's not there anymore. Love.. no longer present on someone's side.
I think in some ways I knew that we weren't right for each other. And in some other ways I think that we could have been so right for each other if I'd been more mature. So in some ways, I think it's my fault. I know I'll see different things as time passes... but I feel too much right now to make a conclusion. About anything.
Good night Tobey.
<3 Karen
Moving - Sunday, Mar. 02, 2008
Rambles and Kansas! - Thursday, Feb. 07, 2008
In Manhattan, Kansas! - Sunday, Jan. 20, 2008
Minnesota! - Saturday, Jan. 12, 2008
First Interview!!! - Wednesday, Nov. 28, 2007
