Hi you! I'm a bit excited right now because I was getting all my graduation papers together. I'm graduating Spring 2007 from Cal Poly... yayyyy. =D I have to turn in my grad check by September 1st. I have about 6 classes left after this quarter. And next quarter I'm planning on taking Histology, Evolution, History of California and Scientific Communication. The schedule works out for me because then I will be able to work at All Creatures on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. And Tuesdays and Thursdays are surgery days. =) Then my last quarter at Cal Poly, I'll take my last 2 upper division classes... I'm hoping to take Neuroanatomy and maybe Radiation Biology? Maybe I will also take some field study classes since I will have a lighter load that quarter. Then I'll be FINISHED!! Finally. Well, with undergrad anyway. =) I'm really excited just thinking about it I guess. Then next year... take the GRE during the summer, and apply for vet school in October. I hope everything works out. I think it will.....
I know it's still early, but sometimes I think that I'm already ready to date again. I guess I like having someone stable in my life. I don't know if I want to date a bunch of boys and just have fun. That idea sounds very tiring to me. Is that weird that I'm saying that now since I was always trying to go out and have fun with Mike, but he always wanted to stay in? Strange isn't it! I guess I feel like I'm getting OLD. I guess 24 is still young, but I feel old too. I even went looking at online dating sites because it made sense to me. Darren says I shouldn't do it because there are a lot of weirdos online. I guess that could be true. Who knows? I suppose I could try speed dating with Suey too! Since she's single again also. Life is such a mystery... but I feel like I'm understanding more and more of it as the days go on.
My parents will be very disappointed to hear about Mike. Because they liked him so much. But when I think about it.. they only thing that they wanted for me was to find someone with a good career. And I think that's all they saw in Mike. They never really got to know him that well or anything... I understand that's what traditional, asian parents want for their daughters... but I want my parents to like someone because they genuinely DO. Not for the sake of my future. I guess they don't really see that I'm able to make a future for myself. I don't know if I'm going to get into vet school and come out successful necessarily, but I feel that I will always be able to take care of myself. Even if I don't get into vet school.. I'm going to grad school of some sort, and I feel confident that I can find a career that I will love and be happy with.
Sometimes... I catch myself smiling and feeling so happy. And I wonder if I've grieved over the loss of Michael and I long enough. Sometimes I feel the need to punish myself a little further with sadness because I feel that I screwed up our relationship. And because I show that the relationship was important to me by being sad about it for a little while. I think... that I've suffered long enough. And I think that Mike would want me to be happy.
I want to go to the beach one day soon. And give something to the ocean. It belongs there. Lost in the seas forever. I think I'll take it there when I'm fully ready to let go of the idea of Mike and I.. let the memories sit at the bottom of the ocean where they belong. I deserve to let those things sink. Not drown, or die... but sink into the abyss where they cannot be found again. I don't think we had a bad relationship. I don't hate him. Honestly, I wish him only the best. Everyone deserves to be happy don't they? Talk to you later TB...
<3 Karen
Moving - Sunday, Mar. 02, 2008
Rambles and Kansas! - Thursday, Feb. 07, 2008
In Manhattan, Kansas! - Sunday, Jan. 20, 2008
Minnesota! - Saturday, Jan. 12, 2008
First Interview!!! - Wednesday, Nov. 28, 2007
