Hi sweetheart. How are you? I'm doing good. Better than good actually... I'm very happy, despite the things that I want.
Sometimes I think that I should lock you up and let no one read you... because I feel hesitant sometimes about writing my ponderings. It's not that I want to hide my feelings or anything like that... I just don't want people to judge me, feel pity for me, get mad at me, feel sad for me... I just want to feel what I feel and write what I want without feeling guilt or remorse. But- I'm not going to hide you... why? Because I don't believe in hiding my feelings.. I just want to be me and I don't ever want to hide who I am, even if I'm ashamed, afraid, or proud of my actions and thoughts. And I suppose if I make someone feel that bad, then they can just stop reading. I don't ask anyone to read you. Sometimes I think that certain entries can pertain to everyone... like when I wrote about the animal shelter... or when I wrote about trying to accept people even through their differences. And I'd like people to read those entries and see things from another view. And I really hope that people realize that often when I write, it's what I'm feeling in the moment. Many feelings are permanent and others are temporary. It's not like I'm sad all the time or happy all the time either. It's just how I feel now.
With that in mind, at the moment, I feel a lot of longing. Maybe I'm reading my favorite books a bit too much and it's making me feel an overwhelming bucket of emotions. Like when I read The Time Traveler's Wife. I look at Clare and Henry and I feel so lucky for them. They are so wonderfully lucky, just like every other pair in the world that have found their match. They experience so much together and separately. Even through their bad and good times... I mean, that's what makes it love isn't it? When you endure through the worst.
I'll leave it at that for now... last night I went to Temple Bar with Darren, Liz and Jason. We watched the Ken Oak Band perform there. It was a great show.. good music. Very chill and relaxed. Most of them are love songs... very content love songs. Some sad, some happy, for both old and new relationships... Very beautiful music. We even took pictures with them! Afterwards we went to the beach since we were in Santa Monica. You know how much I love the beach. It was a great night. =) Dare and I went to eat at Del Taco at 2 in the morning afterwards. Yum! Okay love. I'm going to mammalogy... I woke up so late this morning! I missed 2 classes.. Aigooo.. good for me.
Going to pick up pies and meet everyone @ Rene's for turkey dinner later tonight. =)
<3 Karen
Moving - Sunday, Mar. 02, 2008
Rambles and Kansas! - Thursday, Feb. 07, 2008
In Manhattan, Kansas! - Sunday, Jan. 20, 2008
Minnesota! - Saturday, Jan. 12, 2008
First Interview!!! - Wednesday, Nov. 28, 2007
